I really enjoyed reading your opinion about the Middle East protests! I like how you related what is going on there to your own life and situation. You use some great English phrases such as "when it comes to", "this kind of matter", and "basic standard of living". I am impressed that you are able to incorporate them fluently into your writing. 

I made some corrections and highlighted them below:

I'm not an expert on this kind of matter.  this matter reminds me of North Korea, the dictatorship though.

when it comes to human rights, such as freedom, or a basic standard of living, it should be sad and even disastrous.

when I first heard the news of the Middle east , it came to my mind that I'm very lucky and fortunate as I was born in South Korea.

In addition to this, I thought I should not take the fact for granted, and try to do my best to contribute to people around me and societies.

that might have been one of the reasons that I  was fortunately born here with relatively better conditions.

Things to keep in mind:

-With country names, unless "the" is in the name (example: The Czech Republic), you usually do not use "the" before a country name (example "South Korea" instead of "the South Korea")

-When using "addition" to talk about another point, write "in" before it (example: "In addition to this...")

-With terms like "better condition" and "standard of living", be careful about plural and singular. You can either add an article before ("a better condition") and make the phrase singular, or you can use the plural form (better conditions). 

thanks a lot for your correction . I will keep what you mentioned in mind. ^^