Petition
Dear members of UN,
You could have already know about bulling, I want to say my opinion about the bulling again. My friends and I are so ambitious than you think we are. We want to abolish the bulling in the school. Many of our friends and our seniors sucide because they were so hurt by heart because of the bully. We really want to stop the bulling and make the school in the world in peace. There would be some advantages by stopping this problem. First, there wouldn't be many victims hurt by heart and sucide. It would be advantageous for the country because there would be more population than now. Second, the students would go to school or study in school peacefully. Last, the bad students would reduce. We really wish that you would take this petition to heart not to ignore us.
Sincerely,
Katherine
Hi Katherine! Here is your petition. The first one has yellow highlights to show where corrections are needed, and the second is written with the corrections that we talked about in our class. You did such a great job on your first writing assignment. I am very impressed with how you used the vocabulary from the chapter, wrote the petition in letter form, and used "first", "second", and "last" to talk about the advantages. Thanks for being such a great student!
-Phoebe
1. Petition
Dear members of UN,
You could have already know about bulling, I want to say my opinion about the bulling again. My friends and I are so ambitious than you think we are. We want to abolish the bulling in the school. Many of our friends and our seniors sucide because they were so hurt by heart because of the bully. We really want to stop the bulling and make the school in the world in peace. There would be some advantages by stopping this problem. First, there wouldn't be many victims hurt by heart and sucide. It would be advantageous for the country because there would be more population than now. Second, the students would go to school or study in school peacefully. Last, the bad students would reduce. We really wish that you would take this petition to heart not to ignore us.
Sincerely, Katherine
2. Petition
Dear members of the UN,
You may already know about bullying, I want to say my opinion about bullying again. My friends and I are more ambitious than you think we are. We want to abolish bullying in school. Many of our friends and our seniors commit suicide because they were so heart broken because of a bully. We really want to stop bullying and make the schools in the world peaceful. There would be some advantages by stopping this problem. First, there wouldn't be many victims hurt by broken hearts and suicide. It would be advantageous for the country because there would be a higher population than now. Second, the students would go to school or study in school peacefully. Last, the bad students would be reduced. We really wish that you would take this petition to heart and not ignore us.
Sincerely, Katherine