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Hi John
Sorry for changing the time today. See you at 9:30 pm.
Please review the essay below when you are available. It is the writing task 1, test 3, IELTS Cambridge book number 9. Thank you in advance. :)
The two pictures illustrate how cement and concrete are produced sequentially.
Looking at the first diagram, cement-making process is described in details. The materials needed for making cement are limestone and clay. At the first stage, these are crushed into powder and mixed together. And then, powder is sent into rotating heater, which is heated from the bottom. After a while, heated powder is is processed with grinder and finally, became cement. The final products are put into bags so that they can be easily moved.
Moving onto the next diagram, it reveals how to make concrete. In this process, proportion of materials are important. For example, materials that are needed to produce concrete consist of 15% of cement, 10% of water and 25% of sand. In addition, gravel, small stones, is also needed in a large amount. It account for a half of the total. All raw materials are mixed together within concrete mixer, which is rotated in a clock-direction.
In conclusion, making cement and concrete is very complex and sophisticated in terms of process as well as proportion of raw materials.
Thanks.
Ireen
Sorry for changing the time today. See you at 9:30 pm.
Please review the essay below when you are available. It is the writing task 1, test 3, IELTS Cambridge book number 9. Thank you in advance. :)
The two pictures illustrate how cement and concrete are produced sequentially.
Looking at the first diagram, cement-making process is described in details. The materials needed for making cement are limestone and clay. At the first stage, these are crushed into powder and mixed together. And then, powder is sent into rotating heater, which is heated from the bottom. After a while, heated powder is is processed with grinder and finally, became cement. The final products are put into bags so that they can be easily moved.
Moving onto the next diagram, it reveals how to make concrete. In this process, proportion of materials are important. For example, materials that are needed to produce concrete consist of 15% of cement, 10% of water and 25% of sand. In addition, gravel, small stones, is also needed in a large amount. It account for a half of the total. All raw materials are mixed together within concrete mixer, which is rotated in a clock-direction.
In conclusion, making cement and concrete is very complex and sophisticated in terms of process as well as proportion of raw materials.
Thanks.
Ireen
2014.07.26 04:11:49 (*.84.110.37)
Hi Ireen,
Good job! Please see the changes below. Just a few changes to articles and verb tenses.
Thank you,
John
The two pictures illustrate how cement and concrete are produced sequentially.
In the first diagram, the cement-making process is described in detail. The materials needed for making cement are limestone and clay. During the first stage, these materials are crushed into powder and mixed together. Next, the powder is sent into a rotating heater, which is heated from the bottom. After a while, the heated powder is is processed with a grinder and finally, it becomes cement. The final products are put into bags so that they can be easily moved.
The second diagram, demonstrates how to make concrete. In this process, the proportion of materials is important. For example, materials that are needed to produce concrete consist of 15% cement, 10% water and 25% sand. In addition, gravel and small stones, are also needed in large quantities. This accounts for a half of the total. All raw materials are mixed together within a concrete mixer, which is rotated in a clock-wise direction.
In conclusion, making cement and concrete is very complex and sophisticated in terms of processing as well as proportioning raw materials.
