There was once an old man who lived in a cottage. One winter day, he passed a wonderful tree, it was singing! The first time he was surprised that the tree was singing, but after some time he thought it was tedious and rude, the song never changed. It went like this:

What makes you become so shiny?

Would you teach me how to become like you?

HA HA HA HA HA HA~~

LALALALALALALA~~~

You~ are~ so ~ bald

Finally, the tree talked to him, it said, "How are you?"

The old man replied, "I'm not well, in fact. How about you?"

"I'm so thirsty," said the tree, "because I can't drink water in my upper body. If you have time, will you water my upper body?"

And the old man said, "I’m sorry but I'm too old to climb your body and I can't use a ladder because I'm afraid of heights"

“Oh you are so gentle, how kind you are!” said the tree.

And the old man replied, Thank you—I am such a general!”

            He couldn’t understand the tree well, especially its sarcasm, because he needed a hearing aid.

“Wait, what?!?!?!” said the old man after a minute.“Are you being sarcastic with me? Oh, let's fight!

The tree could speak English because the tree was, in fact, older than the old man. Indeed, the tree was about 989467469864698746874687468746876876876787 years old, so he could talk to people and any other creatures.

Instead of fighting they negotiated a friendship. It was a perfect negotiation. They lived for a long, long time together and died at the same moment.

The end.