This is Chapter 2# .
It's shorter than chapter 1#
Dolphin talker
Made by Katherine
Chapter 2#
Next day, in Ms. Dollin's office.
Wake up Wake up you lazybones! Wake up Wake up! Wakey Wakey! Wake...........
Ms. Dollin turns off the alarm clock.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, man! Give me some break! That stupid clock....... What time is it?
She looks at the clock.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, my! Half past nine! I'm late!
She hurried and she take the cab.
Ms. Dollin : Mee, Mee aquarium. Please. And fast!
At the aquarium.
Professor : It's already 10! 1hour late!
Ms. Dollin ran into the aquarium.
Rella : Oh, there is Ms. Dolphin.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late.......... Because................Umm..........
Rella shouted
Rella : You were late because you have to think about 'What should I lie to everyone today?'.
Professor : Ms. Shults!
Ms. Dollin : Oh, It's okay. She is always like that. I was late because I was talking to dolimpter.
Professor : Dolimpter? Isn't your old friend?
Ms. Dollin : Oh, no, no, no, Dolimpter is like an e-mail to dolphins.
Professor : Oh, I see. Could you show us how?
Ms. Dollin : Nope! We do dolimpter when nobody knows.
Students : Show us! Show us!
Ms. Dollin : No!
Professor : Please?
Ms. Dollin : I can't do it now!
Rella : Because there is no such thing as dolimpter!
Ms. Dollin : Okay! Okay! I will show you how.
Ms. Dollin : KEPGHG! KEPGHE!
Ms. Dollin : I'm so sorry my dolphin friend don't answer.
Professor : That's okay. Now lets move on to the dolphin talk.
Ms. Dollin : Sure.
Rella : KEPGHG! KEPGHE? Oh, man that's not a word! I met one crazy woman in my life.
Ms. Dollin keeps talk to the dolphin everybody was so excited. But Rella wasn't. She was keep watching the sky. Soon Rella heard something weird.
It's Dolpter!
The voice was very deep and loud.
Rella : Dolpter?
Max : Bell, I can't hear Ms. Dollin because of you!
Rella : Did you hear that?
Max : Heard what?
Rella : The voice.
Max : What are you talking about?
Rella thought 'He can't hear that? It was very loud!'
Rella : Nothing.
Rella kept watching the sky. She wanted to hear that voice one more time. But nothing happened.
The next day.
Professor : Everyone! Come on! Move! Move!
Amber : Why are we riding a ship?
Ms. Dollin : Were going to the sea to see more dolphins.
Students : Hurray!
Rella was excited too!
Everybody was on board.
About 20minutes later.
Ms. Dollin : Everyone look!
Everybody goes near to Ms. Dollin.
Ms. Dollin point the dolphins in the sea.
Ms. Dollin : This is a dolphin group that we call school.
Rella : Everyone knows about that!
Ms. Dollin keeps saying about dolphins.
Rella was so bored. So so she just sat on the chair.
Come! Come!
Rella was so excited so she ran to the place where the voice come from. It was a strange place. Nobody was there.
Rella : Hello? I can hear you. Please show me who you are.
Nothing happened. Not a single voice.
Rella : Oh, man! Where are....
Turn! Come!
Rella turn around.
Rella : Oh, my God!
There was an rainbow dolphin. Not just a dolphin. It was a huge dolphin! Rella ran in to the dolphin! Nothing, nobody was interrupting her. She run as fast as she could! She was running on the sea! Something was very soft, cozy. Soon she felt an jelly under her feet.
Jump!
Rella jumps as high as she could. She jump about thousands of kilos at once. She was almost there! She could feel it! She jump again! When she was near enough to reach the rainbow dolphin. Suddenly, the rainbow dolphin open its mouth!
Go! Go!
Rella jumps! She was in side of the rainbow dolphin! Now she could feel the water. It was cold. But cozy. Beneath the ear was so painful. She closed her eye. She couldn't breath. Beneath the ear something started to open! Now nothing was painful. It was peaceful. She open her eyes carefully. Something or someone was shouting.
She finally came! Through the rainbow dolphin!
The voice wasn't deep. But it was very high and very loud!
Rella was on something. It was similar as a bed. She stand up. Rella could see hundreds, I mean thousands of peo... I mean dolphins!
Rella : Hi. Where am I?
One dolphin with a cap answered
Where are you? Rella you are in Dolphlia.
Rella : How do you know my name?
The other dolphin with a green t-shirt answered.
Rella, you will know every thing soon.
Soon a dolphin with a star on his back came.
Rella : Hello sir.
Hi.
The voice was little deep. But loud.
Rella : Mr.....
Call me Mr. Demper.
Rella : Okay, Mr. Demper......
The dolphin with a cap said
Hey, Mr. Demper is the highest dolphin in Dolphlia.
Rella : Thanks. Mr. Demper, I'm new here... so........
Mr. Demper : Come, follow me. Rella......
Rella : Shults. Rella Shults.
Mr. Demper and Rella goes through all of the dolphins and go in front of the cave.
Rella : Why aren't we going in here?
Mr. Demper : If we want to go into the cave we have to do somethings. There are an invisible wall.
Rella : Like what? And invisible wall?
Mr. Demper : Just watch.
He goes very close to the cave and say something. Soon on the a flat rock come under Mr. Demper. He jump on the rock twice and he uses the star on his back. He draw a cube. The cube suddenly comes out of the rock. It becomes bigger and bigger It was the same size as the cave. Rella couldn't believe her eyes. Mr. Demper pick the star and throw it to the cave. The star hit the invisible wall. And came in to Mr. Demper's back. The invisible wall became visible. It was like an jelly but hard. He pickes the star and draw and big star in a circle.
Mr. Demper : Go back.
The circle and the wall soon moves beside. And the star become very bright and big as a cube. Mr. Demper goes above the cave and put the star. The star suddenly become bright. And the rocks pull the star in to the cave so the star disappeared. And the big star moves in to the cube. The star inside the cube start to spin very fast. And the cube and to star goes into the cave.
Mr. Demper : Let's go.
Every reader, The writer Katherine is going to write Chapter 3# until next week. Please wait.
What will happen in the cave? The answer is in Chapter 3#.
Fantastic! This is building into a very interesting story. I am eager to read the third chapter.
A few notes. Make sure you write in the active simple past tense, unless grammar requires past continuous or present perfect. Do not write stories in the present tense, unless it is inside dialogue. This is standard for all English stories.
Second, you have a lot of fantastical and surreal elements. This can get confusing for the reader. A good tip is to try to ground these surreal moments with as much thick description as possible. I'll explain what I mean in the next class. A good book for you to read is Alice in Wonderland.
Carrie
Next day, in Ms. Dollin's office.
Wake up Wake up you lazybones! Wake up Wake up! Wakey Wakey! Wake...........
Ms. Dollin turns off the alarm clock.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, man! Give me some a break! That stupid clock....... What time is it?
She looks at the clock.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, my! Half past nine! I'm late!
She hurrieds and she takes the cab.
Ms. Dollin : Mee,-Mee aquarium. Please. And fast!
At the aquarium.
Professor : It's already 10! 1 hour late!
Ms. Dollin ran into the aquarium.
Rella : Oh, there is Ms. Dolphin.
Ms. Dollin : Oh, Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late.......... Because................Umm..........
Rella shouted
Rella : You were late because you have to think about 'What should I lie about to everyone today?'.
Professor : Ms. Shults!
Ms. Dollin : Oh, It's okay. She is always like that. I was late because I was talking to dolimpter.
Professor : Dolimpter? Isn't that your old friend?
Ms. Dollin : Oh, no, no, no, Dolimpter is like an e-mail to for dolphins.
Professor : Oh, I see. Could you show us how?
Ms. Dollin : Nope! We do dolimpter when nobody knows. (Hmm...I think when nobody is around would be more correct)
Students : Show us! Show us!
Ms. Dollin : No!
Professor : Please?
Ms. Dollin : I can't do it now!
Rella : Because there is no such thing as dolimpter!
Ms. Dollin : Okay! Okay! I will show you how.
Ms. Dollin : KEPGHG! KEPGHE!
Ms. Dollin : I'm so sorry, my dolphin friend don't answer. (ahaha....I really like how you are revealing the way she is trying to cover up her lies)
Professor : That's okay. Now let's move on to the dolphin talk.
Ms. Dollin : Sure.
Rella : KEPGHG! KEPGHE? Oh, man that's not a word! I met one crazy woman in my life.
Ms. Dollin keeps talk kept talking to the dolphin; everybody was so excited. But Rella wasn't. She was keep watching the sky. Soon Rella heard something weird.
It's Dolpter!
The voice was very deep and loud.
Rella : Dolpter?
Max : Bell, I can't hear Ms. Dollin because of you!
Rella : Did you hear that?
Max : Heard what?
Rella : The voice.
Max : What are you talking about?
Rella thought 'He can't hear that? It was very loud!'
Rella : Nothing.
Rella kept watching the sky. She wanted to hear that voice one more time. But nothing happened.
The next day.
Professor : Everyone! Come on! Move! Move!
Amber : Why are we riding a ship?
Ms. Dollin : Were going to the sea to see more dolphins.
Students : Hurray!
Rella was excited too!
Everybody was on board.
About 20 minutes later.
Ms. Dollin : Everyone look!
Everybody goes near to Ms. Dollin.
Ms. Dollin points the dolphins in the sea.
Ms. Dollin : This is a dolphin group that we call a school.
Rella : Everyone knows about that!
Ms. Dollin keeps saying kept talking about dolphins.
Rella was so bored. So so she just sat on the chair.
Come! Come! (make sure we understand this is a voice from nowhere, I thought it was the teacher or Mr. Dollin calling to say come see the dolphins)
Rella was so excited so that she ran to the place where the voice come from. It was a strange place. Nobody was there.
Rella : Hello? I can hear you. Please show me who you are.
Nothing happened. Not a single voice.
Rella : Oh, man! Where are....
Turn! Come!
Rella turn around.
Rella : Oh, my God!
There was an rainbow dolphin. Not just a dolphin. It was a huge dolphin! Rella ran into the dolphin! Nothing, nobody was interrupting her. She ruan as fast as she could! She was running on the sea! Something was very soft, and cozy. Soon she felt an jellyfish under her feet. (wouldn't it sting?)
Jump!
Rella jumpsed as high as she could. She jumped about thousands of kilometers (kilos is a weight measurement)at once. She was almost there! She could feel it! She jumped again! When she was near enough to reach the rainbow dolphin (incomplete sentence, when she was near enough to reach the rainbow dolphin, she... (what)). Suddenly, the rainbow dolphin opened its mouth!
Go! Go!
Rella jumpsed! She was inside of the rainbow dolphin! Now she could feel the water. It was cold. But cozy. Beneath the ear was so painful (whose ear? her's or the dolphin's?). She closed her eyes. She couldn't breath. Beneath the ear something started to open! (I don't understand what is opening) Now nothing was painful. It was peaceful. She opened her eyes carefully. Something or someone was shouting.
She finally came! Through the rainbow dolphin! (I'm not sure what you mean by this)
The voice wasn't deep. But it was very high and very loud!
Rella was on something. It was similar as to a bed. She stand stood up. Rella could see hundreds, I mean thousands of peo... I mean dolphins!
Rella : Hi. Where am I?
One dolphin with a cap answered
Where are you? Rella you are in Dolphlia.
Rella : How do you know my name?
The other dolphin with a green t-shirt answered.
Rella, you will know everything soon.
Soon a dolphin with a star on his back came.
Rella : Hello sir.
Hi.
The voice was little deep. But loud.
Rella : Mr.....
Call me Mr. Demper.
Rella : Okay, Mr. Demper......
The dolphin with a cap said
Hey, Mr. Demper is the highest dolphin in Dolphlia.
Rella : Thanks. Mr. Demper, I'm new here... so........
Mr. Demper : Come, follow me. Rella......
Rella : Shults. Rella Shults.
Mr. Demper and Rella goes went through all of the crowd of dolphins and go went in front of the cave.
Rella : Why aren't we going in here?
Mr. Demper : If we want to go into the cave, we would have to do somethings. There are is an invisible wall.
Rella : Like what? And invisible wall?
Mr. Demper : Just watch.
He goes went very close to the cave and says something. Soon on the a flat rock come came under Mr. Demper. He jumped on the rock twice and he usesd the star on his back. He draew a cube. The cube suddenly comes came out of the rock. It becomes became bigger and bigger It was the same size as the cave. Rella couldn't believe her eyes. Mr. Demper picked up the star and throw threw it to the cave. The star hit the invisible wall. And came in to Mr. Demper's back. The invisible wall became visible. It was like an jelly but hard. He pickesd the star and draew and big star in a circle.
Mr. Demper : Go back.
The circle and the wall soon movesd beside. And the star becoame very bright and big as a cube. Mr. Demper goes went above the cave and put the star (where?). The star suddenly becoame bright. And the rocks pulled the star into the cave so the star disappeared. And the big star movesd into the cube. The star inside the cube started to spin very fast. And the cube and to star goes went into the cave.
Mr. Demper : Let's go.