My favorite animal is a puppy called pungsangae in Korean.

The puppy lives my grandmother's house in Korea.

I love this dog because they are well-known for very smart by common Koreans and they look pretty cute.

Above all, this dog is loyal for master.

(Here is some picture about pungsandog :-) )

Teacher, I fixed it *^ ^*

I dreamed about visiting a amusement park with my family. I saw a lot of kinds of different animals like deer, elephants, tigers, and so on. My father played with monkeys to give some cookies. Then, I went to ride the viking. I rode this two times because viking is my favorite ride. I rode disco pang pang with my brother. My brother didn't want to play this ride. Maybe he felt very dizzy, I thought. Next, we went to ride a roller coaster. We sat seats and it start to move. I grabbed safety bar tightly. I felt  scared and little confused.  In the middle, I wanted to get off this ride. OH, MY, GOD!!! I fell headlong down. My feeling is, as my heart and my liver changed each position. I screamed and I woke up. What a confused dream it is!

I dreamed about visiting a amusement park with my family. I saw a lot of kinds of different animals like deer, elephants, tigers, and so on. My father played with monkeys and gave them some cookies. Then, I went to ride The Viking. I rode this two times because The Viking is my favorite ride. I rode Disco Pang Pang with my brother. My brother didn't want to take this ride. Maybe he felt very dizzy, I thought. Next, we went to ride a roller coaster. We sat on the seats and it started to move. I grabbed the safety bar tightly. I felt  scared and little confused.  In the middle, I wanted to get off this ride. OH, MY, GOD!!! I fell headlong down. My heart and my liver changed each position. I screamed and I woke up. What a confused dream it was!

It's described as a snail. I wanted to design this like a visual animal. It is small planets in his head(Actually, these are tentacles). Also, his eyes(antennas)are formed of jewels. He has  lying one upon colors house shell. And I wanted to draw his abdominal region to space. I love my art so much. Because when I was drawing this, I drawed it really hard.

Some Small Corrections: 

He's described as a snail. I wanted to design this animal in an interesting visual way. He has small planets in his head (actually, these are tentacles). Also, his eyes(antennas)are formed of jewels. He has many layers of color on his house shell. And I wanted to make his abdominal region look like space. I love my art so much, because when I was drawing this, I drew it really hard.

A+ WONDERFUL JOB YEUEN. I was very impressed with the writing (which only needed a few small corrections) and even more impressed with the image you chose! It's a beautiful drawing of a snail and you describe it very well. Thank you!

Topic: the time I felt really cool

When I was young, that day, I came back home with my family from my grandparents' house in Korean holiday.

It's hard to go from my home too far so middle terms, we sometimes stopped at rest places. And, we arrived at one place just a minute, because we didn't eat any food for our meal.

When we finished our dinner and wewalked with some snacks to eat, we could hear certain melody. We liiked for also said, "where is it from?"

After a while, we found a root of musics.

It was group of people. They were singers. They were launching a campaign to help unfortunate neighbors.

That time, I thought up to do together with them. Fortunately, I had enough money that I could(right?:-)) got from formal bow of respect to my grandparents' on New Year's Day.

So, my feeling became to give my things for them. Thus, I took mine, and put my hands in their unsophisticated paper box with my brother.

Common, although many people may think I lost my allowances, but my heart was fulled of an overflowing happiness.

It is my cool day!

Not so long :-(

Wonderful Work Ye-Eun! I've made a few small corrections but overall I think your writing here was good.

When I was young, that day, I came back home with my family from my grandparents' house in on Korean holiday.

It's hard to go from my home too far so a place so far away during middle terms, so we sometimes stopped at rest places. And, we arrived at one place for just a minute, because we didn't eat any food for our meal.

When we finished our dinner and we walked with some snacks to eat,. we could hear certain melody. We liiked it for also so we said, "where is it from?"

After a while, we found a the root of the musics.

It was group of people. They were singers. They were launching a campaign to help unfortunate neighbors.

That time, I thought up to I coulddo work together with them. Fortunately, I had enough money that I could(right?:-)). I had received money because of my formal bow of respect to my grandparents' on New Year's Day.

So, my feeling became I decided to give my things for to them. Thus, I took mine my money, and put my hands in their unsophisticated paper box with my brother.

Common, although many people may think I lost my allowances, but my heart was fulled of with an overflowing happiness.

It is was my cool day!

Colored Correction Key:

remove unnecessary words

change word/phrase

words to add/change orange words to

capitalise

incorrect verb form

When I was young I came back home with my family from my grandparents' house on Korean holiday.

It's hard to go from my home to a place so far away during middle terms, so we sometimes stopped at rest places. We arrived at one place for just a minute, because we didn't eat any food for our meal.

When we finished our dinner we walked with some snacks. We could hear certain melody. We liked it so we said, "Where is it from?"

After a while, we found the root of the music.

It was group of people. They were singers. They were launching a campaign to help unfortunate neighbors.

That time, I thought I could work together with them. Fortunately, I had enough money that I could. I had received money because of my formal bow of respect to my grandparents' on New Year's Day.

So, I decided to give my things to them. Thus, I took my money and put my hands in their unsophisticated paper box with my brother.

Although many people may think I lost my allowances, my heart was filled with an overflowing happiness.

It was my cool day!

Hello, teacher! It is my homework ;-)

I will explain you this presentation about Korean foods.

See you ^^