Everyone wants to live happy, not sad or angry. There are a lot of ways to make our life happy. Doing what we want to do, eating what we like to eat, watching TV, etc... I think keeping our body healthy is also one of the way to be happy. If we are not healthy then we can't do anything such as eating, playing. Then what can we do to make our body healthy? There are many tips about health. Among these I'll tell you about exercising.
Exercise is the best way to be in good shape. First, exercise can make our body fresh by eliminating body waste. After we exercise then we sweat. Sweating can eliminate the body waste. This is the reason why we feel fresh after exercising. And it can lose weight. people like to be thin because it looks better. If you want to be thin then exercise.(Do not skip meals! It can harm your health.)
Seven times a week is the appropiate time for exercising. But nowadays people are busy to study and work. So I'll recommend three or four times a week at least. There is many kinds of sports or exercises. Among them I think yoga is the most effective exercise. Yoga can make your body fresh than any other exercises and stretch your body.
Do not think that doing exercise is taken time. As mentioned above exercise is more important than any other activity.
Jin, great job on this essay! I really liked the first paragraph that introduced the topic of exercise, and how it improves our lives. "Among these" is a perfect phrase to use in order to introduce something specific. "Good shape" is another phrase that is very common.
The sentence, "and it can lose weight" needs to be changed to show that the person loses weight, not the exercise. Instead you could write "and it can help us lose weight." Instead of "people are busy to study and work" it would be better to say "are busy with studying and work." One other correction is in the sentence, "Yoga can make your body fresh than any other exercise", you should add the word "more" before fresh. "Yoga can make the body more fresh than any other exercise."
We will talk more about your essay in class. Thank you for posting it so early and for doing such a nice job expressing this idea.
See you Tuesday :)